- Ben Mondy
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- surfer.com
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- December 1, 2025
Flying, like surfing, has a code. It’s not written down, and rarely verbalised, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Part common sense, part compromise, but mainly about not being a dick, passengers need to understand these rules, or anarchy will reign. Like not paddling on the inside, dropping in, or uttering the phrase cowabunga in surfing, when in a tin bird, these issues are life and death.
1. The Eternal Armrest Debate
A recent study of flight attendants saw that the majority favoured the middle passenger getting both middle armrests; no ifs, buts… or elbows. The aisle and window, we assume, by virtue of their better seats, get the outer rests.
Now, people have argued this central tenet, more than some aspects of the Torah and Koran, but in an ideal world, if everyone followed those rules, armrest disputes would go the same way as the dodo, iPod, and kneeboarding.
Related: Hawaiian, Alaska Airlines Update Surfboard Policy
2. Don’t Wear Pajamas
The comedian Sebastian Maniscalco is credited as saying, “You’re comfortable, but your outfit is making me uncomfortable.” He could have been talking about passengers who really have recently taken leisurewear over the top and bled into full-blown sleepwear. Flying is a privilege, not a 13-year-old’s sleepover.
Another comedian, Stephen Wright, once asked, “How do you get off a non-stop flight?” And “Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?” Both great questions, but nothing to do with wearing pyjamas on a flight from Jakarta to Bali.
3. If, When, and How to Recline?
Right, let’s rip the plaster off air travel’s biggest sticking point. Unlike surfing’s unwritten code, which is largely written in a metaphorical black and white, the reclining debate comes in 50 shades of grey. The recliners believe the seats tilt back for a reason. In a sometimes cramped environment, that little button is one of the only sources of true freedom.
The anti-recliners, let's call ’em the uptight and upright, think that moving the seat back is a Putin-style incursion into a passenger's precious airspace. Pressing the button is like detonating a nuclear warhead. As with most debates, it’s all about nuance. Remember that? You should never be tilted back at meal times. And when lowering, give the passenger behind a heads-up. On long-haul overnight flights, there is no debate; reclining is mandatory. The main thing to remember is that the little button has power. Use it wisely.
Related: "I Regret Head Butting the Bottom:" Russell Bierke on Big Waves and Bigger Wipeouts
4. Boarding and Unboarding
When boarding a plane, it’s worth remembering the quote from True Detective, “Time is a flat circle.” And while that was a reference to Nietzsche’s eternal recurrence theory, which posits that everything that has happened will happen again, forever, it can also be paraphrased as “We are all going to LAX at the same speed, at the same time. So chill the fuck out. ”
Disembarking is a different beast. A fast exit can have you getting ahead in the next hurdles of passport control, luggage pick up, and car hire queues. And yet, you still have to play by the rules. Passengers in front go first, followed in order by those in the row behind. Aisle seats first, followed by those in the middle and window seats. Have your gear ready and prepped. It’s not that hard, right?
5. In Row Etiquette
Avoid the half-standing-up bullshit, half trying to make yourself small when the window passenger needs to get out. You ain’t Houdini. That just makes them awkwardly bodycrawl their way past your legs, trying as hard as possible not to touch your body. Stand up like a decent person and step out into the aisle. On the flipside, if you are the person who needs to stand up, do it quickly and unapologetically - saying sorry five times only makes the transaction more awkward. You’re going to the toilet for chrissakes.
